How to Celebrate V-alone-tine’s Day

So it’s a few days after Valentine’s day, and I wish that I had posted something then when it was relevant, but I was too busy spending time with my valentine (me). My valentine (me) is really special to me and I try to treat her (me) really well. It doesn’t always happen, because she (me) is a lot to handle, but I always make sure to treat her (once again, me) really good on Valentine’s Day. Because she (me) is the only person who has always been there for me, even when she (me) sucks.

However, Valentine’s Day gets a lot of hate, which is ridiculous because people find a way to hate everything these days. It’s literally a day for love and people get mad because they don’t have anyone to love. That’s unfortunate, because as the famous, famous, Canadian composer, Justin Beiber, once said: You should go and love yourself. And he’s right, you really should.

I love spoiling the people that I love. I have always loved it. But I also love the motto of Tommy and Donna from Parks and Recreation when they say “Treat Yo Self.”

Ok, so you’re alone on Valentine’s Day? You know how awesome being alone can be? Don’t get me wrong, I love pity parties for myself as much as the next person, but open your mind a little. Being alone means you don’t have to share, you don’t have to spend money on anyone else, you don’t have to compromise with the music you listen to or what you want to eat for dinner. All I’m hearing are positives.

So I’ve assembled a little How-To guide for the lonely  independent souls who could use some expert advice on how to love themselves for these 1440 minutes in this Season of Love.

For the Lazy Soul:

  1. Build a fort. This can be as simple or as complex as you want it to be, but let’s be honest. If you’re lazy, it’s going to be as simple as draping a sheet over some chairs, or throwing a mattress up against the wall in a lean-to type fashion. Make the ground comfy to sit on, and set up your laptop/device in it (or make it in the living room where you can still see the T.V.)
  2. Pick something good to watch. If you want to watch a chick-flick in the spirit of love, do it. If you want to watch something to make you laugh, do it. I personally recommend the Ben and Leslie wedding episode of Parks and Recreation because it’s the best of both worlds– hilarious, but also one of the best couples to ever be on TV. It’ll also remind you never ever to settle because they’re both amazing individuals who found each other way after the “prime dating years.”
  3. Buy or make good food. This is the important part. Get your favorite stuff. Cheat on your diet eat whatever is going to make you feel good (whether that’s emotionally or physically, up 2 u). I go the Gilmore way, just a smorgasbord of treats and Chinese take out and pizza and  literally nothing that’s going to get finished.
  4. Sit in fort, watch show, eat food, be happy. Or be sad, sometimes that’s healthy.

For the Soul that Loves Love:

  1. Make Valentines. Just get out your crafting paper and pens and glitter and foam hearts (yes, I have all these things, why do you ask?) and go to town. Make them cute, or funny, or just kind. Make them for certain people in your life, or just make them without anybody in mind. Put some chocolate kisses in a bag and accompany it with a note that says “Just wanted to make sure you got kissed today” (that’s probably my favorite one I’ve ever done). Or print out those hilarious ones that are already made and say ridiculous stuff (if you don’t know what I’m talking about, I feel bad for you.)
  2. Give them out. Give them with a gift (like a box of donuts and a note that says “I donut know what I’d do without you”). Doorbell ditch them. If they aren’t for anyone in particular, put them on car windows or give them to anyone who has to work retail (heaven knows they could use some love).
  3. Compliment People. It’s kinda weird to compliment random strangers these days, but pretend like it’s not. Everyone could use  solid compliment, so try to give them all one.

For the Self-Care Soul:

  1. Do some yoga. Release any negative feelings of loneliness or sadness and just meditate to happy thoughts. (I actually don’t do yoga, but I’m pretty sure this is what happens when you do?)
  2. Exfoliate. Use some type of Pinterest recipe for a sugar body scrub or whatever the cool thing is these days. Baking soda is a good option, too, and it’s really cheap. While your at it, find a face mask recipe, too.
  3. Take a bath. Light some candles if you want. Put on some music. Enya is a pretty good option if you want to be mildly depressed but also relaxed. Use a bath bomb and watch it dissolve into all it’s cool colors. Take as long as you want because HEY! Nobody’s around to stop you!
  4. Do your nails. I don’t know about you, but I feel so much nicer when my nails are clipped and filed and buffed and polished and painted all nice. So if you don’t have one of those four-sided buffer things, they’re pretty cheap at The Walmart, and they make your nails feel and look real nice. If you’re not good at painting your own nails, just use the clear polish and nobody will be able to tell you messed up.
  5. Clean up your living space. Whether you just tidy up a little bit or go full on Marie Kondo, make sure your living space sparks joy.

For the Cynical Soul:

  1. Party. It doesn’t have to be your 22nd birthday party for you to dress up like hipsters and make fun of your exes while eating breakfast for dinner. Invite your friends over, make some milkshakes, watch a romcom and make fun of it. Read through everybody’s statuses and captions and say something negative about each one. (If you have no friends, see steps 2-6.)
  2. Tell everybody you’re celebrating something else. Like “Single’s Awareness Day” or “Worst Day Ever” or “Deadpool Day” or any other name to indicate just how anti-Valentine’s Day you are.
  3. Make sure to mention that it’s just a Hallmark holiday. Whether it’s your coworkers or The Void called Facebook, make sure you tell people that Valentine’s Day isn’t a real holiday. They haven’t ever heard it before, so you could be doing them a service.
  4. Go people watching. Scowl at all the couples. Photo bomb their pictures together (bonus points if it’s an engagement picture).
  5. Yell at clouds. Just sounds like it could be something fun to do.
  6. Watch the Ted Bundy tapes. Or anything else that makes you feel better about boys never talking to you because hey, they could be really charming serial killers. Go you for not even risking that one.

I love celebrating Valentine’s Day. I love all holidays. If it gets you out of school or gives you an excuse to party, I am 100% in favor. I think everyone should be.

And seriously: if you don’t have a Valentine, LOVE YOURSELF. If your Valentine sucks at treating you with love, LOVE YOURSELF. YOU are the person who gets you through all your hard days. YOU are the one who has to stick with yourself forever. So be nice to yourself!

Some people have a problem with Valentine’s Day because it’s “obligatory” to do something nice for a SO when a spontaneous gesture would have meant more. I say: why not both? The more excuses to show love, the better. Which also means: the more excuses to show YOURSELF love, the better. So Treat Yo Self any day! Need an excuse to love yourself? Declare a Valonetine’s Day any day of the year, and LOVE YOURSELF. Because you’re worth it.

And just in case you’re still feeling bad about not having a Valentine, it’s better to be alone than to be with a jagweed:


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