Werkin it Dowtown

whats up NERDS heckfest is bacK

and this time, she’s ~~employed~~

It’s really good, too, because I thought I was doomed to a life of envelope stuffing and paper cuts.

And cardboard cuts.

And badly damaged cuticles.

The future was bleak.

So… it’s been approximately four months, three weeks and 1 day since my last post. and I will say, I did have some friends contacting me in the in-between months to ask about my vital status. Well pals, I’m alive. And it’s been a ride this 2019. And things are good now. and YES, I still keep doing something new every week. Update on that soon.

So what have I been up to?

I was with a temp agency for a few months, but they only ever sent me to one place: a medical supply shipping place. That’s where I stuffed envelopes and sustained a lot of cuticle injuries. I got paper cuts IN my cuticles. I would actually frequently tape my cuticles so that the cardboard and/or envelopes didn’t leave my fingers bloody. I also have never in my life referred to my cuticles this often, in speaking or in writing. We need to stop making fun of hair/nail girls, cuticle care is important.

Anyway, I kept getting called in for interviews at a bunch of random places and there were two places where I did three or four rounds of interviews. They made me feel like they wanted me and they had me do writing tests and meet with every single person in a leadership position and as soon as I was SURE that I was gonna get the job, they sent me a rejection letter. The classic “lead ’em on and let ’em go” maneuver. They didn’t even dump me like a man and lie to me by telling me we could still be friends. Shameful.

But you know what they say, if something doesn’t work out, something better is coming. So I’m happy to report that I now have a job that—

-pays much less

-is a worse commute

-has worse benefits + waiting period to get those benefits

-provides much less training

-has less opportunity for growth and expanded skillset

-is less geared toward exactly what I want to do

I know, I know– it’s not super cool to brag about how much one makes, or how great one’s job is, but this is my blog and I thought I’d just take a moment to flex on you all.

And all of those things are true, but this isn’t me “being negative” about it! I just want to acknowledge that sticking it out in the job hunt doesn’t always mean that you get something great. But it’s honestly a blessing to have any writing job at all right now. And I firmly believe I’m on the right track, this is just a stepping stone, and things are just going to get better from here. So I’m happy. Also,,,, you know how good it feels to tell people I’m a writer again?

Sidenote: there’s this guy who sits near me at work and he has his masters in creative writing and I was talking to him and I said I had a journalism background and not a full minute later he told me that “journalists and writers are different” and “journalists can’t write for —-.” And to be fair, I do agree that journalists are different than writers because, well… journalists aren’t nearly as pretentious.

Anyway, I still remember exactly where I was when I applied for this job. I saw what it paid and I whined as I submitted my resume because I didn’t actually want it but I was way too desperate to do anything about it. Then I got an email about an interview, so I went thinking it was just another rejection in the process.

At this point, I was used to rejection, but you know in Gilmore Girls when their house has termites and Rory asks how many banks have rejected them for a loan and Lorelai says it’s not the amount of places it’s the quality of the places?

Yeah. I’ll let you make that connection to job hunting.

So I was feelin real hopeless, but I got to the interview like 20 minutes early and sat in my car to soak in the suck for a little bit. And then I interviewed. And to say my interview was interesting would be an understatement.

I met with this guy who took me to the interview room and he was kinda slumped over with his head in his hand looking at my resume and kinda slurring his questions a little bit. So naturally, I’m thinking that this guy is either hungover or just really hates his job. Both of which really make me so eager to work here, you know? As it should.

And after he asks, I kid you not, three questions (and I give my super refined answers, because,,, lol,,, I have a lot of practice at this point), he just asks me if I have any questions. I admit, I was a little stunned because I wasn’t prepared to take over the interview this soon into it, but I rolled with it.

When I was temping at the shipping place, I realized I really liked their workplace culture. They had team lunches once a month, they actually talked to each other instead of just working silently, idk, I just realized that having a chill environment for work is something that’s important to me. Especially because it’s so dang hard for me to make friends at work.

So I asked “how would you describe the workplace culture?” (which, I just wanna say, is a perfectly normal interview question to ask) And you know what this man said to me? He looked at me and confidently said “i’d say it’s like a locker room” and he didn’t even understand what was wrong with that answer? My first thought was just “uh… like Donald Trump’s locker room?”

I’ve been here a week and I still have no idea what he meant by that. I mean, I don’t know what goes on in the men’s locker room, but everyone here (thankfully) keeps their clothes on and refrains from being super sexist.

So anyway, I ask another couple questions and decide that I don’t really know what else to ask because I don’t know what I don’t know and then he tells me “well I think you’d be a good fit, I’ll have our CFO email you over an offer letter and you can let us know what you decide.”

Which… was super sketchy considering a first interview job offer is not something I’ve experienced since… 2012? And also, it hadn’t even lasted 20 minutes? And I appreciate the job, but also… you could have made it seem like it was hard to get? Maybe I’d feel successful? So I left thinking “wow I think they need to have someone else do the interviews or step up their HR department because if I wasn’t as desperate as I am, there’s no way I’d take this job.”

And then I learned on my first day that that guy who did my interview is the VP of the company. So. Yeah I guess he does what he wants.

I was terrified to take this job because I looked up employee reviews on glassdoor and they were some of the worst reviews I’d ever read, but I decided that if I mysteriously get fired after nine days like some of these other jabronis who left reviews, I’d be no worse off than I was before I took the job. So #yolo

Anyway, I now work in downtown Denver right across the street from the MSU campus and a 7-minute brisk-paced walk away from the 16th Street Mall. I am a marketing content writer for the web, which just means that I write stuff that companies put on their websites. It’s not very thrilling, but the time flies by and I get my own giant desk to decorate with a bunch of random junk that would otherwise adorn my home bookshelf. Oh and I also bought a succulent and it’s adorable.

I also write for SEO, which means that in a 500-word chunk of text, I have to use the same keywords at least three times each and the name of the city like 12 times (you know, in case you… forget where you live in the middle of reading a business’s webpage). So maybe I’m becoming a worse writer, maybe I was never really all that good anyway, and maybe nothing matters except Google’s algorithm. I guess there’s more mystery to life than I previously thought.


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