My 2020 Vision

The moon says the new year starts now, so Happy (Lunar) New Year!

It also gave me the satisfaction of not feeling bad about procrastinating my 2019 review/2020 goals, so holla at ya moon.
The title of this blog post is misleading, this is more like a “year in review” post for 2019, but “My 2020 Vision” was too good to pass up, we only get this year ONE TIME (or 366 times, if you wanna be that person). But if you came here wondering about my 2020 vision, it is this: get new glasses. The ones I have on my face are too old, they keep falling off, and I accidentally stepped on my other pair and broke them. RIP hipster frames. Yes, I did get contacts last year, but Denver is Too Dry this winter and they give me headaches.
Ok so only keep reading if you want an inside on my diary.
Last year, my only real “resolution” was “every week, do something I’ve never done or go somewhere I’ve never been.” I thought it would make good blogging material, but it turned into just going to a new food place or seeing a new movie for a lot of those weeks and it wasn’t really blog-worthy. I guess I could have flexed my movie/food critic muscles, but… I didn’t. So.
but in case you are wondering what kind of new cool stuff I did, here are some things!
-songwriting retreat in Nashville
-gambling in Vegas
-admit my mental illness to the world!
-audition for America’s Got Talent
-join an Instagram live stream
-throw an ax (!!!!)
-eat ethiopian food
-reply to a rejection letter from a job about how they totally missed out (lol)
-go to a comedy club (it was… NOt good)
-sleep in a hammock
-use the men’s bathroom (gross, 1/10, only giving a 1 rating bc it beats an outhouse)
-text my number neighbor (she is my age, lds, and lives in SLC. wild af)
-Go to Yellowstone/Grand Teton NP!
-Go hiking by myself
-Eat bear meat (would not recommend. Not bad, just not good)
-learn how to change my own oil
-attend a murder mystery party
-check out some cool places in Denver
-meditate
-make homemade tortillas
-became way too comfortable talking about my asexuality
-make tortillas from scratch (they did not turn out well)
-try voodoo donuts (for the first, second, third, and fourth time)
-saw my first foreign/highbrow film
-made friends on bumble bff
-went on a dating app date (!!!!!) and then promptly never talked to the guy again
-sent feet pics (that was earlier in the year but lower on the list bc… trauma)
-went to a Moth storytelling night
-got friendzoned (I mean, I was 25, it was time)
-actually got into a lot of cool podcasts!
-was a bridesmaid in a wonderful friend’s wedding ❤
If you’re a grammar nazi, you will notice that the above list is not uniform at all. Some items begin with past tense verbs, some items begin with present tense verbs, and some items are just nouns. I understand this and am not going to make the effort to streamline it. Deal with it.
ALSO– if you are wondering what kinds of goals to set for yourself, I would highly, HIGHLY recommend making the goal to do something new every week. It’s simple enough to do, but it also encourages you to get outside the box and actually do the things you’ve always wanted to but never got around to. Also, you just realize how many new things you’re doing naturally, and it’s pretty cool.
Also,,, I realize that’s 30 things I could have written an actual cool post about so if you’d like me to revisit any of those in a future post, let me know and I’ll get on it. I should’ve noticed sooner but I was too busy just kinda… livin life, yknow?
Anyway. 2019 was a different beast. At the end of some years, I’m like “wow, so glad THat year is over, so excited for a new start!” but at the end of 2019? I thought… I am so grateful for everything that happened last year. What a year. How exciting to keep building on the trajectory I’ve started.
My first instinct is to say that 2019 was a year of transformation. But I don’t think I really changed, I think I just emerged. I started living openly about all the pieces of my identity that I had previously been ashamed of, asserting my validity even to people who disagreed. I built some seriously awesome friendships and surrounded myself with a strong social support group. I started taking control of my future… personally, professionally, and otherwise.
**And let me just say, taking control does not mean that you are not scared/discouraged. I can cry today and feel like I’m never going to make anything of myself, and then get up tomorrow and keep trying. I’m allowed to feel my way through it! And so are you!**
Maybe it was that I lived in the same place the whole year (which hasn’t happened since 2012) so I was really able to put down some roots and bloom. Maybe it’s because timing is divine. Maybe it’s because I just met the people I needed to meet and was finally ready for them. And maybe… maybe it’s maybelline.
I can already tell that the year of the rat is gonna be pretty rocky. But I ~~think I can handle it.

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